Take owndership over your thoughts and feelings

Most of us live our lives without ever understanding our thoughts and emotions, but through awareness, we can all change how we think and feel.

One of the most important lessons to learn is that the only things that you truly possess, and therefore control, are your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself if you truly believe that you can control your thoughts and feelings? Even if you believe you can control your thoughts and feelings, I can assure you that there have been many times when you acted in anger, expressed another emotion in an unproductive way, or created stress for your self due to an irrational belief or misperception. These are all instances in which you were not in control of your thoughts or feelings.

Many of us think that we cannot control our thoughts or feelings, but I know that anyone can change how they think and feel. It is just that, until now, you never learned how to accomplish this. It is time to take ownership of your thoughts and feelings, because they motivate every decision you make. And in order to take ownership, it is important to understand why you think and feel the way you do.

Most of us live our lives without ever understanding our thoughts and emotions, even though thoughts and emotions play a role in every moment of our lives and prevent us from finding inner peace. Most theorists agree that the experiences we encounter during our childhood create our emotional and cognitive foundation. During our developmental years, through the experiences we encounter, we react with fear, anger, sadness, disappointment, etc. These experiences shaped our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. As children, we created fantasies about why things happen. Since we learned about ourselves and the world through these limited experiences, our understanding is not always accurate. All of these factors create inaccurate thinking.

As we grow older, we continue to use these inaccurate paradigms, which in turn distort our reality by applying past experiences to try to explain our present reality. As mentioned previously, when we encounter new information, our brain automatically compares it to information that is already stored. It is difficult for the brain to store information that is unique because it almost automatically wants to categorize it into something with which it is familiar. However, by being conscious of this, we can change the process. So, we usually do not see reality as it truly is. We use our past experiences to interpret our current reality. This is problematic because our past experiences have nothing to do with our current reality.

Again we don’t view the reality as it is, but as we perceive it to be. Our perceptions are quite faulty. When we assess our experiences, whether internal or external, we produce thoughts that then create feelings. We continue to apply our old paradigms, which recreate these feelings of fear, hate, sadness, hurt, anger, jealousy, disappointment, restfulness, and so many others. Furthermore, it is problematic, because as adults, we rarely reappraise our belief systems.

These emotions erupt from two sources: our unconscious, which is composed of unresolved emotions from past experiences; and our feelings,based on appraisals of the present. This foundation motivates all of the decisions that we make, even if we are not consciously aware of it. It also impacts how we react to and feel about our current experiences, as well as, what we think and feel about ourselves and about others. These emotional scars create current pain because present circumstances trigger the feelings that hurt so much. Furthermore, even if we don’t feel that we have been scarred during our childhood, we are still stressed by inaccurate or irrational beliefs that were created during our formative years. This is why we continually experience pain and do not feel at peace. Moreover, this contributes to depression, anxiety, addictions, and other psychological ailments. We carry all of these emotional scars and dysfunctional thinking into our present and, until they are made conscious, addressed, and processed, they impact every moment of our lives and motivate our decisions.